TROUBLE ALWAYS COMES IN THREES (OR WITH FANGS) by Tom Ferguson

That's the old saying, "trouble always comes in threes", and I never gave it much credence until a few months ago. My wife, Karen, and I had a nice romantic weekend planned. A city weekend where you sleep in a hotel, not on the ground. A three day weekend in San Francisco! Trouble # 1: At the last minute Karen decided she had to work the whole weekend. A "romantic" weekend doesn't work well without your wife! (Karen's reading this!) I decided I'd go to San Francisco anyway. There was a show at the Museum of Modern Art I wanted to see. I'd camp at Pinnacles, no sense in an expensive hotel. That part of the trip was a victim of "Trouble 1". After a late start I was driving north, near Buelton, and had a major blow-out. A leave pieces of your tire in the road blowout. The blow-out sounded like a firecracker and caused me to totally lose control of the car and veer right, forcing it into the siderail at 70 MPH. After I brought the car to a stop and was inspecting the three inch high gash that extended from the front bumper to the back door, a CHP pulled up, asking if I needed a tow truck. "No,I'll just change the tire." "Do you need help? Have you changed a tire before?", asked the Chip. "Too many times. I can handle it", I replied. I was wrong! There was no lug wrench in my tool kit. I must have lost it at the last flat tire. I had to limp the car on the rim for 10 miles to the next exit with a gas station and buy a new tire. That, obviously was Trouble #2. I went to the museum the next day, and the show was very disappointing. On a weekend like this, I wouldn't count that as "trouble", but after all I'd been through I was a bit put-out. Yes, this is a story about snakes. . . I'm coming to that part of my melodrama now! On the drive back to my campsite at Pinnacles, I saw a spot for an interesting photograph. It even had a nice big pullout to park the car and set the tripod on. Perfect! I got out of the car, walked a bit to my right (the view got worse), walked back to the car (better view), wondered if it would look better still to the left of the car. As I walked (watching the scene) I felt a sharp pain in my leg. I looked down to a sight I'll never forget. At my foot, no, actually under my foot was a killer!! with anger in his beady eyes. He was a rattlesnake, at least 12 feet long, with the fangs of a saber tooth tiger. I was standing on this monster (straight out of a Steven King novel) and he wasn't happy about it at all!

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